Hilda

Helga is a German woman that comes to my home about every 3-6 weeks (depending on her availability... she is in high demand) and cuts Brady's hair. She is a stern, unyielding, no-nonsense woman in the Old School Style of cut 'n run. She speaks with a heavy accent and doesn't mince words. I think Brady is a little afraid of her, but also more than a little amused.

So Brady was due for a haircut yesterday, but Helga was out of town. Unsure of what to do, she offered to send us her younger niece, Hilda. We weren't sure of Hilda's skills, but Brady REALLY needed a haircut, so we accepted.

Brady knew it was a good choice when Hilda came into the room. She was wearing 4" high heels, thigh highs with a backseam, an obscenely short skirt, and a see through top. With no bra.

I'm told they kept it professional for the first few minutes, but Brady admitted to letting his hand stray to her smooth legs every so often. She said nothing until he got a little higher up her thigh, and only when he was getting dangerously close to discovering there were no panties under the obscenely short skirt did she scoot out of his reach.

Apparantly, this continued for a good while. He also found out this was Hilda's first haircut, but he says she did a "pretty good job". Unfortunately (?) for Hilda, it wasn't until after she'd finished that he informed her he had no money to pay for the haircut. Frustrated, she sighed, and asked for his help sweeping up his freshly shorn locks.

Perhaps it was being under that barber's cape for 15 minutes in the stale, hot air of a July night, but he was awfully hot. The hair was no sooner swept off the floor, that his... appreciation got the best of him, and he motioned for her to sit on his lap.

Unsure of what this bold American was doing, she acquiesced and took a seat. He offered to work off his tab, and forcefully pushed his mouth onto hers. Taken by surprise, she responded by pulling away, only to realize she liked the taste. She stood up from his lap and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in close and kissing her more ferociously than ever. His hands wandered below her skirt, and he was surprised but pleased to discover her favorable (flavorable?) response to his advances.

This is where Brady's part of the story gets a bit hazy... something about taking her from behind over the kitchen counter, something about licking the prize under that short skirt and driving her crazy, and I think it ended with them in our bedroom, her on top of him, her skirt and thigh highs still in place... but who can be positive?

I'm fairly certain Helga is history. I don't think anyone is going to miss her. Hilda? HIRED.